Solo Parenting: A Realistic Day with 2 Kids Under 2
Hi! I’m a stay at home mom of two kids under two years old, with a husband with a busy busy work schedule.
If you’re anything like me, you might be wondering how to transition from 1 to 2 kids. Is it harder? Will I regain my energy back? How do I take care of two small children at home, practically being a solo parent, and still have time for myself? Yeah, that was me. How in the world do other moms do it?
I’m going to break down my day. The good, the bad, and the ugly. The daily needs that need to be met for each child and for myself. The REALISTIC day of a mom just trying to get by, by being a *mainly* solo parent because of my husband’s busy schedule.
The Morning Routine!
Guys, I wake up with my kids. I DO NOT get up before them. I am in a busy busy season that keeps me up late nights and I’m up multiple times a night. Some nights are much better than others. But I get up every day at the latest at 8 am. This is when I wake up my toddler. Typically though, my baby will be awake anywhere from 6am-7:30 am, so I rarely sleep in until 8 am.
My baby will usually wake me up early and if it’s before that 8 am mark, I’m going to feed him. He gets his two morning medications with his bottle, so I prep this, then feed him. Once he is fed, on the floor he goes! My baby has a condition that makes him more delayed in a lot of aspects of life. Because of this, he needs as much time on the floor to practice rolling as possible.
At 8 am, I get my toddler up and prep her bowl of yogurt. Everyday I make the same breakfast for her. It’s also easy peasy to make.
Toddler’s breakfast
Grab a banana, split it in half and mush it up in the bowl. Add full fat yogurt, any type of nut butter, a pinch of salt, a squeeze of honey, chia seeds (are optional), cinnamon (is option), and a spoonful of cream of wheat for iron. Super duper easy and minimal prep time.
After breakfast is done, I prep my own breakfast (a simple quesadilla or eggs) and make my coffee. If you gotta drink that coffee, you just gotta do it. Don’t do it to the point of tachycardia though. Also, as a pharmacist, I would NOT recommend high consumption of energy drinks because of potential heart issues and I wouldn’t recommend caffeine pills (I have tried these and they are crazy in their effect).
The rest of the morning is a rotation of chores: doing the laundry, putting the dishes away, cleaning bottles and dishes, mopping the floors, meal planning for the week, writing down my to-do list in my agenda, play with the babies, therapy for the baby, reading books, and more feeding for the kids.
Therapy for my baby
His condition makes it where he is more likely to be delayed in things like rolling, crawling, walking, head control, and more. We see two therapists weekly and practice different exercises and movements. When I’m at home, I focus a lot of time doing his foot stretches, arm reaches, tummy time in normal and elevated positions, and sitting for solids. It’s a lot of work, so this time that I spend on his therapy, other moms of two under two can use for different things.
Nap for the baby
The baby will typically go down for two naps during the day. An hour long one around 10-11 am and then another around 1-2pm. He will go to sleep around 6:30 pm and wakes up multiple times overnight but doesn’t stay up besides drinking his milk. During his nap, he goes into his crib in our room so the toddler disrupts him a little less.
Lunch time!
We are getting oh so close to toddler and baby going down for a long nap. During lunch, I’ll give the baby solids and prep a meal for my daughter. The food is typically left overs and right now I use baby food in glass jars for his solids because of his ability to sit up. Tv is always on, but it’s usually on music during the day except for lunch. Lunch time we watch Elinor wonders why and other pbs kids shows.
Once lunch time is over, there’s more picking up and I try to grab a quick bite to eat and catch up on chores. The toddler goes down for her nap anywhere from 1-2 pm for about an hour and the baby usually sleeps around this time too. I typically get a 30 min minimum nap overlap between the two. This is not always the case!!!
Afternoon
I work on the chores. During nap time I don’t do the loud chores, so I do these now. The toddler usually wakes up from her nap in a not so great mood so she gets a little snacky snack to fill her belly and we put on a relaxing show while I get the baby and do some more therapy. Sometimes I’ll put music back on and read a few books to them.
The time is now just ticking down to when my husband comes home and I’ll have help with the kids. I often will wake them up around 3 pm and we have a snack, continue changing diapers as needed, and watch some tv while I continue chores or start dinner.
Evening as a Solo Parent
I occasionally make dinner. That’s usually reserved for my husband who is the better chef in the house. I will meal plan each week, add the items to the Walmart pickup order, and he will pick them up and cook dinner. But on the days that I’m in charge, I get dinner done ASAP. Not only do I need to refuel and then relax, but my baby usually starts going into night night mode around 4:30 pm. He will typically go down around 6:30.
The key to the evening is just surviving until my husband comes home OR I put the kids to bed. A lot of the times at least one is down for bedtime before he gets home.
Tips for surviving as a solo parent but also trying to thrive too:
- MAKE COFFEE: consume whatever gives you a boost of energy, whether this is coffee, caffeine pills, tea, or maybe a quick workout
- Realize that social media is an extremely curated place that can make you feel like you’re not enough, doing enough, or are lazy for just trying to survive when doing a lot on your own
- Adjust as needed: babies and toddlers change and grow. Give them grace and shift your schedules and routines as they need it
- Make dinner early!
- Screens are not the enemy: use them wisely to let you get some time to yourself, especially when you are outnumbered with very little ones.