How to Structure Your Day with a Baby and a Toddler
How to structure your day WHILE being realistic
This post is ALL about adjusting your life to having two kids. Specifically, how to structure your day with a toddler and an infant or a baby. Let’s be realistic here for a moment. What you’re doing right now IS SO SO SO IMPORTANT. And it’s hard. Some moms don’t find it to be rewarding – I personally don’t find instant gratification. Over time though, when you see your babies learning new skills and becoming their own little person you can say that YOU helped to shape them.
So let’s take a moment to realize that although each day might not be perfect, it’s the small days that add up to your little babies becoming amazing individuals. The stay-at-home lifestyle isn’t for the weak. There are so many things that go into a single day or even half of your day that go unnoticed. Structuring your day doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
- Be realistic on what you can achieve in one single day
- Have at least ONE consistent part of your day to structure around – maybe naptime
- Don’t be a stickler with a schedule. It’s just meant to help your toddler and baby function better throughout the day.
- Avoid the ‘all or nothing’ mentality
- Make time in the day for yourself — usually naptime if your baby will allow it.
- Readjust when needed. You won’t always be in this routine.
Important tasks that need to be added to your daily habit tracker or checklist
If you are interested in having a visual checklist of exactly what you need to consider in an entire day’s worth of habits or routine, check out my free printable pdf. This will have a lot of different house chores, outside chores, and more! This way you’ll be able to think of every possible part of a day and can start using that to structure out a daily routine. Maybe one day you go for a walk in the park and the next day you go to the library for toddler reading time. I’ll also have a few fun activities listed that you can add into your week for your toddler to enjoy that can also include your baby. Two under two can be challenging to do certain activities, so these will be adjusted specifically for two under two, but can be used for anyone with kids!
Why it’s important to have a daily routine and to structure your day
Some people think that structure or daily routines are stupid. I disagree with that and think that structure is one of the MOST important things for your toddler. Babies do whatever the heck they want, so I hardly keep them on a schedule. Once your kiddo is old enough to transition to 1-2 naps, it’s time to start implementing a nap schedule.
Your daily routine can help your kids in so many ways. Babies and toddlers love schedules. It’s seriously how they thrive. This doesn’t mean that every minute needs to be nickeled and dimed. It means that AROUND 1pm they go down for a nap for ABOUT 2 hours. You adjust as needed. Once a little kid goes off their schedule they sometimes lose it. I’m not even joking. When I traveled in a car for 5 hours, my firstborn was like ‘excuse me?’ and she wasn’t used to it. This was not part of her daily routine and she knew it. She was acting up the rest of the day and all night because she wasn’t in her element.
For most days, I would suggest having at least ONE thing that keeps to a routine. This has to be easy enough for you though, since you’re dealing with babies. Getting your kids on a daily routine can also help YOU. You might want to relax and knowing your baby goes to sleep at 12pm might be your saving grace or light at the end of the tunnel when you’re up early in the morning. Knowing that relief is coming with naptime is such a great feeling. I know that I’m not alone on this one!
How to overcome the juggle between the two
Having two under two is challenging. SO many people would tell me that it was worth it once they got a little older. I’m not there yet but if you’re expecting or have little ones, I’m right there with you on how insane it can be. To survive a normal day you gotta mentally prepare. Do you have family nearby? Use them. Ask friends to bring over some food for you. If you have church friends, see if they have meal trains. Ask around if you’re needing help.
A toddler is demanding in so many ways. They need your attention, time, and energy. Babies simply need to eat and be changed. Playing with them is very different than playing with a toddler. Pretend play doesn’t exist for a baby. Worrying about screen time or meals and snacks are of NO worry for a baby. The terrible two’s and NO’s are scarier than a baby screaming because they are hungry. The struggles and challenges are different with every age. Juggling between the two of them and their needs is a skill.
The conveyer belt workflow of a stay at home parent
I juggle everything like a conveyer belt. Baby needs milk, so he gets fed. Once he’s done then big sister wants food or wants to read. Once I’m done with that, I grab a quick snack and let the dog outside. Back to the baby for some therapy and then big sister to involve her in his baby batting play. Tickle fights and trying to teach her a new word are also part of that revolving circle. Diaper changes and more snacks and food. It’s seriously a never ending circle of the same stuff over and over again. That’s why it’s so important to go out and do something.
Grocery shopping might take some trial and error if you’re going by yourself. Maybe you don’t feel confident to go by yourself and that’s okay! Try going to the park with your partner so one of you can watch the toddler while the other one learns the ropes of a baby carrier. Doing something every few days of simply getting out of the house will help you and your toddler to burn off energy. Going on walks, going outside in the backyard, or going to a park are great ways to enjoy the outdoors.
Controversial Topics – screen time
One thing that I can’t stand about social media is the constant virtue signaling. ‘Don’t let your kid watch tv’. ‘Don’t let your kids have a single bite of sugar’. No to this, that, and everything. When did we have to deal with so much garbage being thrown our way? There are plenty of people out there that can manage a household and ‘do it all’. Some people need help to thrive. Others will hire out services in the house to get stuff done. Each and every circumstance is different. Not everyone can listen to all these ‘rules’ that some moms put on others.
If you need to sit your kid down to watch tv so you can get dishes done, do it. Did you grow up with tv? I sure did! Rugrats, teletubbies, Doug, Rocket Power, Bear in the Big Blue House, Rollie Pollie Ollie, and so many more were on my tv at home. Shows are made differently now. There are a lot of cut scenes, lots of chaotic colors and sounds, and I think that’s why people don’t like it. Youtube shorts and tiktok are similar. The attention spans are non existent if you’re on that 24/7. But babies aren’t on screens 24/7.
My Screen Time ‘Habits’
I LOVE letting my babies watch Sesame Street, Daniel Tiger, and Miss Rachel. Are they sitting in front of the tv like zombies all day? Absolutely NOT. Do they watch tv when I’m feeling ill or need to get some chores done? Yes. They even *gasp* watch it when I want to use the bathroom or cook a meal. Ya’ll it’s not that deep.
My parents let me watch tv. I had a phone growing up and I had access to a computer whenever I wanted. I’m currently married to an MD and I have a doctorate’s degree in pharmacy. Let’s stop acting like screens are the worst thing you can do as a mother. That’s just my opinion though and there is data is suggest that it can be damaging. Again, at what capacity? What is the quality of material they are consuming. How often are they using it? Are you there with them encouraging active learning versus passive learning? It’s a controversial topic that is talked about way too much when other things can mess up a child way more.
Tips to propel your day forward
- Get out of the house
- Prepare breakfast the night before (overnight oats, chia seed pudding, cut berries, yogurt bowl)
- Make naptime your time
- Reach out for help if you have people to support you
- Eat, eat, eat or drink coffee for energy
My schedule
- Wake up when baby wakes up (~6 am to 8 am)
- Firstborn wakes up at 8:30 ON A SCHEDULE DAILY NO MATTER WHEN SHE FELL ASLEEP THE NIGHT BEFORE
- I prepare her food for her to eat & mine — she might just have a bottle if I have to feed the baby first
- She will watch tv in the morning (daniel tiger at 9 am) while eating her breakfast
- We go about our day with changing diapers, changing outfits, snacks, more bottles, and plan to leave the house around 10-11:30 am the lastest if we want to go somewhere
- Lunch time or a large snack will happen around 12 pm
- Naptime at 1-1:30 pm and second shot of coffee for mom
- I tend to the baby during the naptime because they don’t usually sleep at the same time. The baby does whatever they want, whenever they want.
- Naptime ends at 3-3:30pm the LATEST. Naps are only 2 hours long.
- Food and milk happen shortly after waking up
- Chores start getting done with music in the background until around 5pm
- Dad helps out when he gets home, which varies day by day. Sometimes I’m home by myself for 8 hours, others for 13 hours.
- Nighttime is consistently at 9-9:30pm THE LATEST. Baby goes to sleep whenever.
- I wake up to change and feed baby whenever he wakes up during the night. Sometimes 12 am, 2:30-3:30 am, 6-8 am.
- The day starts all over again
Notes on additional things I do in my daily routine
*I have a TON of therapy appointments for my second because of his condition. We have at least one appointment a week, usually up to 3 in a week. Grandma will come over to help when dad works at night. Besides that, I have no other help in my day to day. I drink 2-4 shots of espresso coffee throughout the day and I’m in bed whenever I’m able to get to bed. This is typically anywhere from 9 pm – 11 pm, if the baby allows. Throughout the day I am also doing half an hour to HOURS of therapy on my son. This is time consuming and makes it more difficult to manage chores. Chores do NOT get done everyday and neither does cooking. We are prepping food int he freezer for quick meals later on.*
If you are interested in seeing what my daily schedule was like while I was pregnant with a 15 month old (at the end of my pregnancy), check out this quick read.
Everyone’s schedule is different and that’s okay!
Everyone’s situation is different. Mine happens to be with very little help from family, no friends nearby, a husband that works over 60 hours a week with frequent night shifts and MAYBE one day off a week. I have a child with needs that go far beyond my firstborn and require a lot of time and energy toward him to improve. My little ones are 15-16 months apart with my oldest only being 19 months when writing this. Seasons of life will change. Therapies might become shorter and easier but my challenges will just shift into different ones along the way.
If you’re struggling or just wanting a new routine change, I get that. Keep doing small changes weekly, not even daily if you’re unable. Lots of women go through similar things. Find a Facebook group to join. I am in several and it is so reassuring when other women talk about their struggles. Sometimes it makes me feel better when someone has it ‘worse’ because it allows me to be grateful for where I’m at.